Worst Week of My Life!!!

So last weekend, I celebrated one of my closest friends’ birthdays at Panache (downtown, Washington, DC)!  The night turned out well, but it was supposed to be so much better. Wanna know why?  ‘Cause I was SUPPOSED to DJ for it!  But, noooooooooo…some jackass decided to fcuk up that plan.

Gather ’round!  Lemme tell you what happened…

So, we were supposed to have dinner at 8 p.m. and the party was supposed to start at 10 p.m.  I got there at 8 so I was able to park pretty much right in front of the spot…no more than 20 yards away from the entrance!  The rest of the dinner party was running a lil late though, so I decided to chill in my truck and people watch!  After a few minutes, I kinda got bored at looking at all the people in silence, so I decided to pull my laptop out and put together a soundtrack to go along with the people watching.  It made it so much more fun btw!  Anyway, after about 20 minutes of that (give or take), the birthday girl and crew arrived to the spot.  So, I put my laptop back in my bag and placed it on the floor on the passenger side.  Then, I proceeded to go into the spot and meet up with the crew.  I walked in at about 8:45 p.m. and said hi to everyone.  Soon after that, the birthday girl introduced me to the general manager so I could organize with him on setting up my equipment.  We spoke for a few minutes, he showed me their dj booth, then told me I could start bringing my stuff in to set up.

So, at about 9:05 p.m., I head outside to my truck to start lugging my shit inside.  From the entrance, something looked odd about the truck!  As I walked closer, the shit started to look even odder.  I got to the truck and my first thought was, “ummmm, where did my window go?” LOL!  I can laugh now, ’cause I got it fixed…so feel free to join me in the laughter. Anyway, back to the story…

So, being the DJ that I am, I didn’t focus on the window!  What did I focus on?  That’s right, that bag that I put on the floor of the passenger side.  And  at that point, my heart sank because it wasn’t there anymore.  Interesting though, ALL of the actual equipment (CDJs, Mixer & Monitor) in the backseat was left untouched.  Like any other DJ, I wish they would’ve stolen the equipment and not my damn dj bag.  I officially got, got *in my best DC hood accent*

Fast forward…

At this point, I’m outside not thinking about anything but (1) when last I backed up my music, (2) what was in the bag, and (3) did I have any naughty pictures/videos of chicks I deal with on that computer (Don’t worry ladies, I got the naughty pictures/videos on my everyday laptop…lol!) how much am I gonna have to kick out to replace this shit.

Fast forward…

I spent all week, re-sourcing music and repurchasing shit that I didn’t intend on buying back.  It was extremely annoying.  That said, I guess I can say that I’m blessed to be able to move forward without having to sell my man meat myself to make the money.  But ladies, if you’re interested in paying me to “play some music” for you, I’m free after 5:30 every day…lol!  Seriously though, even though I had to kick out paper on new shit, I only had to source about a month’s worth of music which is actually the biggest blessing.  Could be worse I guess!

So, the re-enactment of this story inspired me to write a lil letter to the bitch ass thief who broke the window of my truck and stole my DJ bag..

Dear Douche Bag:

I hope you get hit by a car very soon.  I don’t want you to die though, because I’m a lil more humane than that.  I just want you to lose the use of your arms and legs…unless you have kids of course.  If you do, then you can keep your arms!  I wouldn’t want you to not be able to work in some capacity to provide for them.  Honestly, I just hope you’re not receiving welfare or unemployment and benefiting from us hard workers.   I hope that your wheel chair locks up on you periodically every day so that you fly out face first on a regular basis.  You’re lucky I didn’t come out while you were breaking into my truck because I woulda whooped your ass quietly followed you and called the cops.  I hope you accidentally dropped and broke the laptop, snapped the beats by dre headphones in half, lost the serato box, and ripped the nike sb bag in half so you couldn’t sell any of it for anything.  Oh, and by the way, I wiped my ass after I took a serious dookie and didn’t have time to wash my hands before touching EVERYTHING in that bag.  HA!  Now you got, got BITCH!

Sincerely,

DJ Hazzard, hazzard, hazzard…

About The Warped Reality

I'm a normal guy (in my world...lol) and I enjoy my daily interactions with the weirdos out there!
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8 Responses to Worst Week of My Life!!!

  1. Nikita says:

    I hope that your wheel chair locks up on you periodically every day so that you fly out face first on a regular basis.

    *Dead*

  2. GKL says:

    “Honestly, I just hope you’re not receiving welfare or unemployment and benefiting from us hard workers. “…Amen!!! My taxes helping ppl like that and other assholes of society, especially unemployed B13 drivers and other asses on the road who clearly do not have a job and clearly have not contributed to paying the overstated bill to pave and maintain the roads and/or should be penalized for driving the way they do….is enough to send me into a rant everytime they bad drive/cause an accident and kill an innocent family of 4. sigh…

    • Yeah man! It’s really saddening that people don’t have the values and work ethic they used to years ago. Either way, we gotta continue doing the right thing, because we have little people following us and mimicking what we do in their own ways.

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  4. Shari Amanda says:

    1- completely hilarious, i’m going to stop by to get my laugh on. 2- why must i give my email address to leave a comment? quite strange. 3- look forward to the rest of my entertainment!

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