I was just on facebook and saw that I’d missed pokes from a whopping 8 people. Good thing I missed them, because I think the whole concept of poking people, even if it’s in cyber space, is pretty retarded! Maybe my mind is in the gutter, but when I hear the word poke, I automatically think about a guy giving a girl some pipe. (Ok, so my mind’s definitely in the gutter).
With that mindset, the idea of a girl poking me is actually kinda terrifying if you think about it. This is one instance where the term “never say never” definitely has no validity ‘cause I’d never willingly allow anyone to “give me pipe” ever in life, far less someone who’d have to strap something on to do it! My stomach is turning just thinking about it.
Wait…how’d I get from cyber poking to strap ons? Oh yeah, it’s because any way you look at it, the word poke indicates touching…more than likely in a friendly manner. Therefore, if you insist on poking me online ladies, buy me dinner first…or make sure that I’m at least attracted to you. Some of you readers may say I’m thinking too hard, but you’re probably the ones who send misleading, subliminal messages by cyber poking mud ducks!
For those of you who agree with my mindset, you’ll be as grossed out as I am when I tell you that out of those 8 missed pokes, 1 was from a fcuk’n man. Yeah, he’s my boy but that’s beside the point. There’s an unwritten rule that straight dudes don’t do certain things. Cyber poking is up there on that list. Straight dudes should NEVER cyber poke other straight dudes, EVER! It’s just another social convention that girls can get away with and guys can’t, pretty much like when you’re out and a chick asks another chick to go to the bathroom with her. In society, that’s acceptable! Should a dude let God outta his thoughts and ask me to go to the bathroom with him…Mannnnnnnn, I dunno what I’d do, but I know what I wouldn’t be doing! I for damn sure wouldn’t be going within 50 feet of the bathroom for the rest of the night. I could have a serious case of the runs…the cheeks will remain clenched until I got home.
Anyway, long story short, even if I go with the latter definition of poking (a friendly touch), once you have more than 95 ng/dL of testosterone in your body…if you touch me, you will lose a finger dude!
I seriously think facebook should add some privacy settings for poking. Like letting you grant access to only certain people to do that shit. What say you?