Eyes Wide Shut VII

Guess whose birthday is around the corner?  That’s right…This guy’s! *Thumbs pointing to self* And like most egotistical DJs partyholics, I use it as an excuse to host a big ass event – Eyes Wide Shut (EWS)!

EWS is only “the best party of the year”…at least that’s what someone told me.  I knew already secretly agreed, but didn’t want to appear cocky, so I downplayed it…lol!  Seriously though, it’s an event in its own category: the category of my fcuk’n birthday!

It’s one of the few themed events I know of where the attendees actually follow instructions.  The theme is simply “You Must Wear Black!” and when you go to EWS, you’ll only see eyes and teeth (and the paler-skinneded folks) muh fcukas wear black!  Granted you won’t be turned away if you don’t follow the color code, but who wants to really be the only fcuktard partier wearing red?  Trust me, it’ll feel less like standing out and more like being the only person who didn’t get the memo…lol!

Aside from the high-fashion darkness, this event is full of beautiful people and vibes to the ceiling!  If you’ve attended it in the past, you know exactly what I’m referring to.  If you haven’t, your life is fcuk’n lame you’re seriously missing out.  Take a peek at EWS VI to understand what I’m saying.

This year’s edition is officially one you can’t afford to miss!  Why?  Because for the very first time, EWS will be a select drinks-inclusive event.  So for the price of a ticket you get awesome vibes, amazing music and limitless drinks for the entire night!  And I’m not talking about bullshit rail drinks.  Can you fcuk’n say premium?…

  • Ciroc (Vodka)
  • Bacardi (Rum)
  • Patron (Tequila)
  • Hennessey (Cognac)
  • Johnnie Walker Black (Scotch)
  • Heineken (Beer) & Guiness (Stout)
  • Soft Drinks, Juices & Water

Does the third item really say Patron?  It sure fcuk’n does!  Let’s just say that I can foresee someone re-enacting my 2005 DC Carnival performance.  Don’t know what I’m referring to?  Take a moment to read A Thin Line Between Love & Drunk…lol!

Seriously though, you’re getting that entire drinks list for $40 in advance & $50 at the door!  Why so stupidly cheap inexpensive you ask?  Because you muh fcukas are cheap as shit and couldn’t see a great deal if it mollywopped you in the face I literally just want to cover my expenses.  Even better (for you, not my pocket), limited early bird tickets are available at $35 until Sunday, September 18.

Got a soft heart for the downtrodden and rather be lame and donate to a charity than party with me?  I’ve got you covered this year, because EWS VII is a party with a cause.  A portion of the proceeds from this event will benefit the United Way of the National Capital Area – a group that mobilizes individuals and organizations in the DC metro region to improve education, financial stability, and health – the building blocks of a good quality of life.

So mark Friday, September 30 on your calendar for EWS VII at Sutra Lounge (2406 18th Street, NW).  For tickets and/or additional information, link me (or any other Culture Shock Committee member), or log on to  http://eyeswideshut7.eventbrite.com.

Culture Shock Committee
301.613.9096 (Andre)
410.533.8206 (Cecil)
240.476.3793 Gary)
240.581.2858 (Kris)
202.446.7160 (Niama)

About The Warped Reality

I'm a normal guy (in my world...lol) and I enjoy my daily interactions with the weirdos out there!
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