I recently read a Wall Street Journal article titled “An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage.” In short, the reporter insinuated that the cure for the plague of the unmarried black woman is a relationship/marriage outside of their race. It features two successful, unwed black women on their “journey” through their lonely single lives. It’s actually a well-written piece complete with supporting data.
Now here’s how I’m going to chop that shit into pieces…
For starters, I don’t care how well-written it is, or how much data was collected and referenced…how did this shit make it into the Wall Street Journal as a topic of discussion? Why is it 2011 and race is still an issue?
In my opinion, race is not the sole driver behind the plight of the unmarried black chick, but since that’s what the reporter is focusing on, I’ll try to tailor my commentary to suit.
Where do I start? How about where the reporter more or less blames black males for single sista syndrome. As a black male, I’m kinda offended. Well…not really, but it sounded good! If we really need to blame someone for this syndrome though, the finger should be pointed directly at black women. Did I just say that out loud? Sure fcuk’n did! It sounds harsh, but it’s really that simple in my opinion. Like in many cases, the “victim” is her own worst enemy. And here are my top five reasons for thinking this:
- Sheer Ignorance
- Fellow Black Women
- Blind Faith In The Black Man
- Fear Of Something Different
- The Need To Be Overly Independent
Ignorant ass black women will be single for the rest of their lives…or as my lil bro would say they’ll be “forever bridesmaids”. Why? Because ignorance is never sexy and no sane man would take these women seriously. That said, we men will nevertheless tolerate and entertain them…but our tolerance and entertaining typically only extends as far as a good dick down. Just saying! Ignorant chicks are usually pretty dope in the bedroom wherever the sweatiness takes place, but who the hell wants to take one out in public?
Fellow Black Women
Based on numbers alone, the global female to male ratio is like an all-you-can-eat buffet that favors the male appetite. Factor in the percentage of women who are willing to be nothing more than someone’s semen receptacle – “it’s true, it’s true!” *Paul Mooney Voice* – and you have a situation that seriously dissuades men from settling down.
The day that society goes back to not only frowning upon promiscuity, but also shunning those guilty of it, is the day women will learn to take pride in their selves again. Problem is that shit isn’t going to happen because we’re moving in the completely opposite direction at what seems like the speed of light.
Blind Faith In The Black Man
Black women need to leave slavery in the muh fcuk’n past! Yeah, I said it! If I hear another black woman say something along the lines of “black men had to endure so much that I can’t turn my back on them” I swear that Wayne Brady will have to choke a bish! Shut that shit up and pay close attention to the following: “a lot of most black men turned their backs on black women the first time they heard about the shit that white women allow, in and out of the bedroom.” That probably came out really harsh, so lemme explain!
For starters, black men didn’t really turn their backs on black women. And lemme clear this up – white women have nothing to do with it. I just included that to be silly. The fact is that men in general are intrigued by shit outside of the norm. So, if a guy grows up in a predominantly black neighborhood, the first time a chick of another ethnicity gives him the time of the day, chances are he’s going to jump all over it…It’s also because to most of us men, ass and titties an attractive woman will transcend race.
Fear Of Something Different
Ironically, I think a lot of women are the opposite and see race first! Again, that’s simply my opinion. The way I see it, a lot of black women aren’t open to different races and I say that because I’ve personally heard several sistas state “I couldn’t see myself with a white dude.” And usually the reasons are so fcuk’n trivial that I honestly lose a lil respect for them. The top three I’ve heard are (1) we have nothing in common, (2) I can’t imagine having to teach him about black hair, and (3) I’m just not attracted to white men.
- The “we have nothing in common” argument is a fcuk’n cop-out. Even when you’re hooking up with someone you’ve known forever, relationships are full of learning about the other person. So how the fcuk do you know that you have nothing in common from five seconds of interaction (if any at all)?
- As for “teaching” him about black hair: cop-out! Take the easy road: buy the movie Good Hair and tell him to study that shit because there will be a test at the end.
- Saying that you’re not attracted to white men is yet another fcuk’n cop-out. There are attractive and unattractive people in EVERY race. So stop being ignorant (refer to the top of this list!) and making blanket statements like that.
Are you seeing the recurring theme here? That’s right: the black women who make these excuses are bullshitting, because each of the excuses is a big ole COP-OUT!
The Need To Be Overly Independent
Lemme start by saying that women of all shades and colors have a problem with leaving the work mentality at work! What do I mean by that? Women have it tough in the work world. They typically have to work harder, be more assertive, etc. than their male counterparts if they want to move forward. When women start playing the corporate “game” in relationships though, is when it starts to go wrong.
Don’t get me wrong, a woman who can get shit done is awesome! Being overly independent, however, is not only unattractive it’s also fcuk’n annoying, because let’s face it, men all like to feel necessary in some capacity. There’s a happy medium between being the needy female (who men run from) and the one who’s so independent that she literally doesn’t need a man for ANY reason (because her dildo and vibrator game is that good). Point is, there’s a time a place for the overly independent shit and home is not it!
I really don’t have much of a point to this post other than the fact that the article that prompted it, though well-written, ain’t about shit. Not knocking the writer, but it’s just a good read for simple-minded people who see in black and white. The way I see it, while I haven’t taken some beautiful black woman off the market, it’s not like I’ve settled down with a woman of another race either! Yeah, I date all shades and shapes, but so do most guys I know. And yeah, I’ve taken advantage of the fact that there aren’t many quality eligible MALES (not just black) available, and I’ve freely sown my wild oats, but I have a fair amount of white, indian, hispanic, and asian male friends who are doing the same damn thing! Don’t judge me though! LOL